One more thing…
Perhaps no sleep yet. But I was just thinking that the worst part about me perhaps coming to terms with the depth of my gayness is that I have to, in a sense, change my mind. I have to “change my vote” as it were; erase the √ that is currently placed over ‘other’ and plant it firmly on men. I suppose it was all part of the journey and that I could not have discovered or become comfortable with this part of myself, if I did not ease myself into it. But I wonder: is that really how I do things? I feel like my world is fairly black and white in many respects, DESPITE me championing the right to multifaceted identity. I wonder what it is exactly that feels most threatened by homosexuality–being pegged, changing my mind, or accepting all of the horrible things that anyone ever said to me on the playground as truth.
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